Illusion Dismantled

Good bye my sweet friend.

Looking through the crowds,

I saw you standing there so many times.

I longed to know you,

and spoke highly of you.

I thought we connected once, twice, many times.

A great joy ensued for me,

Followed by wonder.

Time passed,

and the evolution of our friendship was obvious.

It was destiny, no?

Something meant to be—fate?

One day things seemed different.

The world no longer appeared the way it had to me.

Was anything real or just an alternate reality?

It was an illusion,

Or maybe a mirage provides the proper illustration.

I’ve chased your shadow on so many occasions,

and for what reason?

Acceptance, love, reciprocity . . .

I wanted to be a part of the whole.

A new chapter unfolds,

And I can see the few that want me for who I am.

It is not so hard even though my heart has remaining pains.

Even amongst the sadness of my loss,

My delusion is gone.

Good bye sweet dreams. You have held me back too long from truth and beauty.

This chapter will be different,

One based on not looking away from harsh reality.

I still love you, as surreal as you are,

but I wish to be part of humanity.

The humanity that looks at the most significant moments—good and bad.

C.K. Thiruvathukal

This poem was written about someone I considered a dear friend, a supporter of me during my alternative treatment, and practically family. Likely many, she vanished into the wood work. It’s hard to keep friends when you have an illness like Lyme. People often disappear. Those same people return if they become ill.  Once there, some of us welcome them with open arms. Others hold onto bitterness and sorrow. I’m fairly forgiving, but at some point, I have to remember the lessons or repeat them.

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